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Breaking the Cord: Free Yourself from Toxic Relationships

Have you ever wondered why you feel so connected to the people in your life, even those you don’t like all that much? It all comes down to energy. In any relationship, romantic or otherwise, there’s an underlying energy that connects us all. This can be an amazing, often euphoric experience between two people when they are open, unassuming, and unblocked with their energy. But on the flip side of this, shared energy can negatively affect you when someone else is in a dark or unhealthy place. It could be a family member, a friend, or even a co-worker. I call this being in low vibration.

Learning to cut the energy cord between you and those who are emotionally depleting will free you from your toxic relationship—even when you have to regularly interact with them. When you are not physically in someone’s presence it’s important to know that you are still absorbing their moods, energy, or emotions. Think of the energy shared in any kind of relationship like a physical cord joining the two people together. Like in a game of tug of war, as one end pulls, the other side gets pulled in with it. The same is true for the energy exchange in a relationship, as we are constantly in a battle for the energy control. You must be strong enough not to get pulled through the mud. This energy exchange is also known as etheric energy, or spiritual energy (aura), which is believed to be many invisible energy strands that emanate out of your body like the roots of a plant, permeating all matter in the universe—also knows as Chi, Ki, or Prana.

1. The first step in freeing yourself of a toxic connection is to use creative visualization in order to sever the cord. Find the right space for this exercise. I personally like meditating in a quiet, private place, setting the mood with incense, and being surrounded by salt lamps. For you it might be different, you may want to lay in bed with headphones on playing meditation music, or you might like to be outside in nature, or in the bath.

Regardless of where you go to do this it’s important to be in a space that you are not disturbed. Visualize the person facing you. Allow your intuition to conjure up the image that is connecting you to that person. You may see color, or you might feel a physical sensation like a pressure. Listen to your body, your senses, and let it set the tone for the visualization. Imagine yourself physically cutting the cord between the two of you, perhaps with a large pair of scissors. I like to imagine Arch Angel Michael cutting the cord with his sword.

Allow your higher self to visualize what is needed in order to sever the cord physically in your mind. Some people are more auditory meditators so if you are having trouble with your visualization you may want to repeat certain words like “sever,” “cut,” or “slice.”

Call on your spirit guides to help you with this exercise; inviting them in will help you to feel supported and give you the strength to release what is not for your highest good.

After visualizing the cord severed, visualize that you are being sealed off from the other person in order to protect your own inner energy source. You can start out imagining the white light of God coming down from above and surrounding your body from head to toe, creating a soft barrier.

After you have felt the warm blanket of light surround you, envision a strong shield or bubble encase your entire body, one that still allows you to move about freely. Imagine it’s a shield of armor made out of impenetrable mirrors that bounce the other person’s energy right off of you and reflects back on them. This prevents the energy from establishing a connection with you.

While we never want to inflict harm onto others, and that is never the intent, it is imperative that your protect yourself first from the harm of others. This part of visualization exercise is only meant for the purpose of protection.

The next step in the mediation exercise is the most critical step. You must send love to the toxic person. I have seen time and time again that when we send love to people that we dislike we end up breaking the cycle of negative energy that consumes us. We can actually change how we feel about them because we are no longer focusing on all the things we dislike about them.

This process is like bandaging up a wound, the wound created by cutting the energy cord. It allows for healing. You may even want to imagine a Citrine crystal, which is a yellow stone, covering each of your abdomens at your solar plexus. This crystal has the ability to heal your solar plexus and bring it into a healthy balance.

When channeling love for this person you are releasing all barriers, and the energy that once bound you to them, by envisioning them with their own source of energy that’s completely separate from you. Image them surrounded by a pink light, filling them with visible joy. You can also imagine them blowing out a gray mist to rid themselves of the toxicity, until finally the mist blows clear blue.

This part of the meditation will help you to release the person from any obligation to you. Imagine them waving to you from afar as in a peaceful goodbye.

I believe that we are energy first before physical body, and when we nourish this side of ourselves we can change how we relate to others. Knowing how to protect, deflect, and create energy boundaries is important to a spiritually healthy lifestyle. Just how exercising and eating right is good for the body, so too is mediation for the soul.

As a psychic medium and empath, I have had to create many energy boundaries in my life to protect myself from what I call spiritual vampires—those who latch on for self interests. This process of severing energy cords and creating healthy boundaries has helped me to enjoy relationships more fully.

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