You can go and search for the words “feeling like” on Google, and you’ll notice that it autocompletes with the word “failure.” That’s because you are not alone, and even the most successful people in the world go through it.
Why is it we go through this feeling even when we’re successful?
The truth is: anyone who has ever succeeded at anything has failed along the way.
Instead of acknowledging how smart, strong, and resilient we are, most of us spend the majority of our time comparing our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. We keep reliving moments of defeat or developing an unhealthy attachment to an idea of who or what we want to be like.
This “comparison game” eventually leaves you feeling like a failure.
Why do we do that? It doesn’t make any sense—or does it?
You may find this hard to believe, but you’ve probably been—gradually—conditioned to behave this way.
You see it all over the media: millionaire CEOs turned into celebrities, the glamorization of influencers with millions of followers, and hustle-culture workaholism being praised in the spotlight.
All of this sends us a subliminal message of toxic productivity and misleading beliefs of what success should look like.
With such pervasive messages, it’s so easy to assume it to be true for you too.
It’s easy to lose sight of your own strengths and goals and be tricked into following the crowd playing this toxic game: a rat race of achievement hoarding and unrealistic busy schedules.
If you are like many of the millennials out there today, you’re probably spending the majority of your time trying to play this “game” and get it right, too; putting in so much energy and effort thinking it will make you great or bring you happiness.
Either you’re trying to win at something as opposed to learning.
Expanding your social circles as opposed to building friendships.
Chasing a promotion instead of doing what you love.
Trying to fit in just to be liked by your acquaintances or peers.
Getting more “followers” or “likes” on your posts.
And so on…
In reality, if you’re truly honest with yourself, you’ll realize that most of the goals that you set for yourself are externally motivated and don’t hold much merit to you personally.
That’s why you make it your goal to try and collect one achievement after another but still feel dissatisfied and empty inside.
Furthermore, when you don’t succeed at these goals, you internalize the problem and blame yourself.
You begin to assume that maybe you’re playing the “game” all wrong, and you have to do better because you’re just not cutting it.
You think: “I’m such a screw-up. Maybe my best isn’t good enough,” and counterintuitively, instead of doing anything to remedy your situation, you end up demotivating yourself.
So if your spirits are down in the dumps and you’re sitting here thinking: “Why am I such a failure?” you might want to pause and reflect on the question: “What is the reason behind you wanting all of these things in the first place?”
Now the game-changing question becomes, not if you’re playing the game right, but, “Are you even playing the right game?”
Think about it:
Wouldn’t it be terrible to spend your whole life trying to win at a game only to realize you’ve been playing the wrong one all along?
How Feeling Like A Failure Can Affect Your Life