5 Invisible Ways Your Childhood Defines Your Life Now

The formative years of our lives shape our future significantly. Recognizing the influences we’ve absorbed without conscious choice marks the commencement of a transformative journey. When you grasp the power within you to author a fresh narrative, simply by dismantling old beliefs, discerning patterns, and adopting new habits, the journey of healing becomes invigorating.

Take a look at how your childhood might have shaped your psyche.

1. How you feel about relationships: How you got along with your family when you were little can affect how you get along with people now. For some people relationships mean joy, richness of experience and safety. But for people from dysfunctional families relationships can mean stress, source of the problems and pain.
2. What you prioritize: When you were growing up, your subconscious mind was learning what to value based on the environment you were growing in. Even if you don’t remember all of it, those beliefs are still inside you like invisible rules. They can affect how you make decisions, like what job to choose or who to be friends with. And most of the time we don’t question what we prioritize. It helps to ask the question: “Is my way the only way?”
3. How you handle feelings: The way you learned to regulate emotions during childhood, through observation and interaction with caregivers, can shape how you cope with stress, handle conflicts, and express feelings as an adult. If you grew up in an unstable environment, it’s essential for you to craft your own mental hygiene routine.
4. Your patterns: Before your behavior turned into patterns, it used to protect you from something. It doesn’t mean that in the adult life it will serve you the same way, though. Deconstructing your patterns is essential if you want to achieve a different outcome in all major spheres of your life. Patterns in your own behavior are hard to identify. That’s why sometimes it helps to ask a therapist for help.
5. Who you think you are: The messages you got from family and others when you were young shapes major parts of how you see yourself and what you believe about yourself. This includes aspects such as self-esteem, self-confidence, and a sense of belonging. And it’s especially uncomfortable in your adult life when the parts of your identity that were shaped by your peers don’t serve you in this current chapter of your life. Peeling off the conditioning is extremely important if you want to experience life on your terms.