Honoring the Season We’re In

Some of us have a really hard time letting go of how things used to be and who we used to be. That may include certain elements of our style such as clothes, foods we used to like, or friendships we used to enjoy. We say things like, “I used to be able to stay up so late and not be tired the next day,” or “I used to talk to this person every day, and now I can’t remember the last time we spoke.” Sometimes it’s ok to leave things in the past. We need to learn to embrace the shifts and changes in our lives as they naturally occur.

My early friendships were so deep, connected, and powerful, but they are very different from my friendships with people now. Trying to recreate, relive, or even rekindle those old relationships, would do a disservice to everyone involved. I have to acknowledge that we are in a different place in our lives now. Reconnecting can seem like a good idea, and sometimes it is, but it doesn’t always allow us to remain true to who we have become.

We have to look at who we are today. If our interests and personalities aren’t aligned or compatible in the present, we can remember each other well, cherish our memories, and move on. That is ok to do. It doesn’t diminish what we had.

I went to Ghana for a three-week study abroad program. Before I went on that trip, I ate fast food like nobody’s business. When I returned, I couldn’t touch it, not even a single french fry. I would get sick every time. I tried it twice and after the second time, I had to make my peace with not being able to eat it. My stomach wouldn’t tolerate it. It doesn’t mean that any of the food I had before was bad, it just means that it’s not for me anymore.

We have to recognize when something is:

• No longer good for us.
• Not aligned with where we are in life.
• Not suited to who we are and the growth we are trying to encourage.

It is ok to look back on something fondly. I look back on some of my hairstyles from when I was younger, and I think, “Oh baby.” I loved a little flip. I don’t want one today, but when I had it, it was everything, and I can look back on that and smile.

Oftentimes, we hold onto things because we’re nostalgic. We believe that if we miss something that means we should go back to it, but we can tell something is no longer for us when:

• It doesn’t register with any part of us that currently exists.
• It feels awkward and inauthentic.
• It feels forced.

Lean toward what feels natural.