We are all Messengers Have you ever noticed that we are all messengers? Every one of us uses the word to form our opinions, to express our point of view. We are constantly using the word to deliver and receive messages to those around us and to ourselves. The question is: What kind of messages …
Most of us grew up with a fantasy dream relationship, of finding the “perfect person” and living “happily ever after.” But sometimes, real life is somewhat of a letdown. Life gets busy. The relationship feels stale or becomes highly conflicted. There are bills to pay, diapers to change, meals to cook and projects to complete. …
The time-honored golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” is a profound instruction for relationships in general. But in intimate partnerships, we need to take this admonishment a step further. Our golden rule for couples is: “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” Instead of …
The Golden Rule for Lovers: These Behaviors Are Guaranteed to Improve Your Relationship Read More »
What is love? Love is a verb, not a noun. It does not exist independent of behavior. It is created or destroyed minute by minute by what we do. Love is an act that is accompanied by a feeling, but it is not a feeling itself. It is the behavioral commitment of one person to …
Falling in love is biologically natural; sustaining love is biologically unnatural. Falling in Love fills the reservoir of love with appreciations. Soon, though, the reservoir is depleted by the three depleters of love: Criticisms Complaints (e.g., about the food at the restaurant your partner chose) Being taken for granted (“You don’t give me flowers anymore.”) …
Women Can’t Hear What Men Won’t Say: Communication is Key Read More »
You’ve been irritated by your partner’s actions for a while. You like to get to places on time and feel uneasy when you have to wait by yourself on the street because your partner is running late. Having a harmonious and loving relationship with your partner is important for you. For the sake of that …
3 Keys to Turn a Potential Argument into a Conversation Read More »
If I asked you to pinpoint your tolerance level in a conversation would you be able to? Could you say that after fifteen minutes if you’re not feeling heard you get frustrated or start to shut down and get passive-aggressive? Or if after expressing yourself for the tenth time without any changed outcome you know …
Lots of people have asked me about how to deescalate people who are already escalated. Meaning, if you’re in a conversation and the other person starts to get defensive, lash out and raise their voice, what do you do? Compassion is the key It’s important to think about why the other person is resorting to …
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