Exploring Wisdom: Loving Yourself by Getting Organized
“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone” – Pablo Picasso
Do you struggle with:
- Being late
- Guilt over not getting things done or not following through with commitments
- Anxiety over things like taxes and bills being late
While some personality types have an easier time being organized than others, everyone has the capacity to learn to be organized and get important things done.
Why, then, do so many people have a problem with it?
It has to do with your intent.
Which part of you is in charge of time and organization?
Do you have a part of you that tells you what you HAVE to get done, and another part of you that goes into resistance? If you identify with this, then the part of you in charge of your time and organization is your wounded self, and your intent is to control and avoid being controlled.
One part of your wounded self tells you what you have to do – likely in a judgmental, harsh, critical, parental voice (does this sound like your mother or father or another caregiver?), while another, perhaps younger aspect of your wounded self goes into resistance to being controlled. An inner power struggle ensues, essentially immobilizing you. The critical voice might get more critical and the resistant aspect, who is determined not to be controlled – even if it’s by yourself and even if what the critical part says to do is in your highest good – digs in his or her heels.
As long as your intent is to control and not be controlled, you will be stuck in the resistance of your wounded self.
Shifting your intent
Our intent is the essence of our free will. At any given moment you can choose the intent to control and not be controlled – stuck in the inner power struggle – or you can change your mind and decide that loving yourself and learning about what is loving to you and others is your primary intent. And that determines everything, because all your behavior follows from your intent.
When you shift from the intent to control and resist being controlled, into the intent to learn about loving yourself, and you open to learning with your higher self about what actions are in your highest good, then your loving adult is in charge rather than your wounded self.
The loving adult doesn’t procrastinate, doesn’t clutter, is organized, is on time, keeps commitments and gets done what needs to be done. When we are operating as a spiritually connected loving adult, it’s easy to be organized. It’s not about exerting will power – it’s about allowing Spirit to flow through us, giving us the guidance and energy to take loving care of ourselves.
Putting your loving adult in charge relieves stress
Just as actual children feel safe when their parents are reliable and do what they say they will do, our inner child feels safe when we do what we commit to doing for ourselves and for others. If you say you will be on time but you are late, your inner child feels anxious and unsafe. If you say you will get your taxes done on time and you don’t, your inner child feels stressed. If you say you will get up early and exercise and you don’t, your inner child may feel depressed.
Inner peace and a sense of safety come from operating as a trustworthy, organized and reliable loving adult. When loving yourself is more important to you then trying to have control over getting yourself to do things ‘right’ and then going into resistance to being controlled, you will start to feel much more inner peace and safety.
Since you are in charge of your intent, you can make this shift any time you want!
Dr. Margaret Paul is a bestselling author and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, and the related SelfQuest® self-healing online program – recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. She has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Oprah. Margaret holds a PhD in psychology, is a relationship expert, public speaker, consultant and artist. She has successfully worked with thousands and taught classes and seminars for over 50 years.
Join Margaret at the Art of Living Retreat Center from May 18th to 20th to heal the cycle of shame and self-abandonment, learn to love yourself, and move into a healthy pattern of decision making at her retreat, Inner Bonding.
This article is reposted from margaretpaul.com with permission from the author.
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