One of the great joys of my life is collecting stories of the ways soulmates meet and come together. It’s pretty empowering to realize that even the most mystical, magical encounters required the soon-to-be lovers to take action—to deliberately put themselves in the “right place at the right time.”
Love has been described as an intangible connection between two people that feels exceptionally good and yet, the word and experience of love, cannot be easily defined.
There is wild, crazy “being in love,” and there is the love of a child, friends, family, pets, co-workers, neighbors, community, etc. Then there is “divine love” and connection to God, Goddess or whatever higher power you subscribe to.
If you are seeking to feel loved, cherished, adored, supported with a devoted partner, the truth is there are many potential partners if you eliminate things that truly will not contribute to your long-term happiness because meditation and yoga and working on yourself relentlessly are zero indication of someone’s actual values.
My belief is that there can be great attraction from opposites as long as there is also connection, compatibility, chemistry, clear communication and a shared vision for the future with that person.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell if your relationship is actually headed for the rocks. Or you might suspect that, in fact, it’s already over. But is it just a normal part of a relationship to be in conflict sometimes? How do you know if it’s really in trouble?
Have you ever had an argument or a heated discussion and your partner says, “I get it?” It feels good in the moment but you really don’t think they do get it. Nor do they like what you’re saying. And they may not be ready to move on from the conversation.
The time-honored golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” is a profound instruction for relationships in general. But in intimate partnerships, we need to take this admonishment a step further. Our golden rule for couples is: “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” Instead of …
The Golden Rule for Lovers: These Behaviors Are Guaranteed to Improve Your Relationship Read More »
One of the core ideas of Imago Therapy is that the underlying cause of most couples’ discontent lies buried beneath the surface. Superficially, partners argue about household chores, money, parenting styles, their next vacation, or who is spending too much time on their cell phones. Outside of their awareness, however, each one is being compelled …
What is love? Love is a verb, not a noun. It does not exist independent of behavior. It is created or destroyed minute by minute by what we do. Love is an act that is accompanied by a feeling, but it is not a feeling itself. It is the behavioral commitment of one person to …
Falling in love is biologically natural; sustaining love is biologically unnatural. Falling in Love fills the reservoir of love with appreciations. Soon, though, the reservoir is depleted by the three depleters of love: Criticisms Complaints (e.g., about the food at the restaurant your partner chose) Being taken for granted (“You don’t give me flowers anymore.”) …
Women Can’t Hear What Men Won’t Say: Communication is Key Read More »
Most people describe a committed love relationship as consisting of two people. But we define a love relationship as “two people, plus the Space-Between them.” This Space-Between is a core theme in our work with couples. But what is it and how does it help guide you and your partner to create a conscious, thriving …
The Space Between: The Key to Happy Relationships Read More »
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