What Makes Love Last? An Exploration of the Four Intimate Love Connections
Why do some love connections last for 40+ years while others fade quickly almost overnight or erode over a few years with blistering anger or resentment? I have had many people ask me over the years: “Why do many love connections fail?” or “I feel so guilty about my marriage failing–especially when I think about the idea of ‘What God has brought together, let no man set asunder! Do you think God can forgive me?’” The answer lies in first examining the 4 types of love connections in relationships.
People can experience ‘Love Connections’ on 4 different levels.
Physical love connection
A physical attraction between 2 people. This occurs when one person is attracted to the physical attributes or body of another person. Common thought associated with this type of love connection: “Wow, I think he/she is so hot!”
Intellectual love connection
A mutual interest in the same thoughts, philosophies, topics of discussion, books, news items, or hobbies. Common thought associated with this type of love connection: “We can talk about things or debate topics for hours- time just flies by!”
Emotional love connection
This supramental connection occurs when two people can communicate deeply at times without words or without full verbal explanation and not just based on superficial body language. Common thought associated with this type of love connection: “Boy, they just ‘get’ me! We could finish each others’ sentences or know what each other mean without saying a word while other people are clueless.”
Spiritual love connection
This connection occurs when two people have similar spiritual knowings (as opposed to beliefs) and are on the same spiritual path or share a common spiritual purpose; they see a relationship as a respect for and encouragement of each others’ spiritual growth. A common thought associated with this type of love connection: “I feel a sense of bigger purpose in our relationship- I think Spirit/God/Source/Universe conspired to have us meet!” A true spiritual connection can last the span of lifetimes.
Now think of each type of love connection as being type of magnetic attraction between two people. If you have only one connection (such as physical), but are not connected in the other 3 realms (intellectually, emotionally or spiritually), then it is easy to energetically pull the pair apart. All it would take is for another person to come along with an attraction in 2 of the 4 realms to cause a magnetic attraction away from the original partner. Thus, a connection in 2 of the realms of connection is stronger than only having one connection.
Having 3 of the love connections would be a stronger attraction between 2 people than only having 2 realms connected. When you experience the powerful magnetic attraction of being energetically connected in all 4 realms of love connectivity (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual), it is almost impossible to have a separation or to have another person come between the pair.
Think about your last love connection. How many of the 4 love connection realms were (or are) you connected in? The more realms of connection, the stronger the magnetic attraction between 2 people.
How many relationships are forced through ego? How many relationships are truly “brought together by God/Source/Spirit/Universe”? Perhaps only the relationships that are brought together by whatever we understand to be God/Universe are fully connected or “energetically married” in all 4 of the love connectivity realms… and when that occurs perhaps “no man (or woman) CAN set it asunder”.
Almost half of marriages end in divorce today; is it because many marriages were unions created by the ego of connection in only 1 or 2 realms of physical attraction, intellectual attraction or emotional connection? Just a little food for energetic thought…
Loads of Light to you all!
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Tracy Latz, M.D., M.S. is an Integrative Psychiatrist, weaving together wisdom from Western medicine and alternative approaches to transforming anxiety, depression and emotional trauma.
Marion Ross, Ph.D., holds doctorates in Holistic Healing, Metaphysics, and Transpersonal Psychology as well as certifications in Medical Qigong, Qigong Healing, Robert Peng Certified Teacher Training, Energy Medicine, Mind Body Medicine and Sound Healing.