Heart of the Matter
From the heart of compassion, the more we acknowledge what we don’t know, the fewer conclusions we draw about others as a space to project our unprocessed pain.
From the heart of compassion, the more we acknowledge what we don’t know, the fewer conclusions we draw about others as a space to project our unprocessed pain.
“Today you have to put your shoes on by yourself,” my physical therapist announced one morning this spring, after I woke up from another restless night on a stiff plastic mattress. I was recovering from a rare disease that paralyzed my hands and legs for a month, and I was learning how to enter the world outside the hospital again. The worst part of the ordeal was not being able to change sleeping positions at night. The second-worst part was the loss of my treasured independence. I couldn’t turn a page or open my Chap Stick or scratch an itch by myself. It took five minutes to work up enough strength to even move my foot.
No matter where you are in life at this moment, there is at least one thing that you and I have in common: We want to improve our lives and ourselves. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with us, but as human beings we’re born with a desire to continuously grow and improve. I believe it’s within all of us. Yet most people wake up each day and life pretty much stays the same.
What are we supposed to do when someone dies? I wish I had a simple answer. And in some ways, I do. There is nothing you can do except ride the waves of grief. Loss is so unexpected, even when it is expected. We cannot fathom what it will feel like to lose someone close to us. There is no comparison to the experience of deep grief.
There are so many misconceptions about how long grief is supposed to last or not last. There are books and studies and reports and endless advice and opinions about what your grief should look like. But really, the only person who knows how long your grief should last is you.
I took a photo of the room I stayed in during my three-day Soul Shift retreat in California.
It was the first time I’d led a retreat, and in order to show up for it, I had to listen to the persistent voice of belief rather than the pesky voice of doubt.
I was preparing to vacate the room and catch my flight home when I thought: Did I leave anything behind?
Everything seemed so uncertain, so out of control, that I reverted to my old ways of pushing myself until I broke down. The people pleasing, the feelings of inadequacy, the superficial measurements of success that I’d worked so hard to overcome were back in full force, threating my health and my wellbeing.
Human beings, particularly those of us with a deep attachment to the ego, the voice of separation, have a tendency to be very dramatic. When our backs are up against the wall; when we are being stretched or pruned or corrected by the circumstances of life rather than knowing and believing that things are working together for our good, we more often than not immediately assume that we are in grave danger of extinction.
Trauma can bring about a number of neurological changes, but meditation can help in overcoming a traumatic experience, making a person calmer, peaceful, and relieved of stress. Meditation helps to calm a mind affected by pain and deep stress which a disaster inevitably brings. A study on war veterans affected with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) …
This past August, award-winning author and channel Paul Selig joined us at the Art of Living Retreat Center for a deeply transformational retreat. Participants enjoyed the beauty and tranquility of the Blue Ridge Mountains while working directly with Paul’s Guides to access their True Selves and transform their lives. We recently sat down with Paul …
In House: Paul Selig on Accessing Your True Self Read More »